Assalamualaikum my pretty ladies =)
This is not an update but merely a self reminder on how to be a successful Muslim wife. And thought I should share this with you too.
In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman. Each have their own role to play in making a marriage successful. It is a bit more difficult but certainly possible to make even a selected partner in a marriage a success.
1. Be the best wife you can be. Being a good Muslim wife is in many ways similar to being a good wife in other religions. Sure it has its own special features and requirements, just like any other religion. However, there are common basic methods and guidelines for being a good wife in general. Follow them.
2. Make Dua. Always ask Allah for forgiveness and blessings on your marriage.
3. Understand and respect your husband's rights. Study authentic ahaadith and make sure that you understand your obligations as a wife as well as understand your rights. In Islam, a good wife is expected to be honest, sincere and congnizant of her husband's needs. At the same time her husband must respect her, fulfill her needs and even help her in household chores.
4. Be secure in yourself. Putting yourself down in front of him is another way of insulting his taste in women. If he is with you, it's because he wants to be. He will find you sexy even if you don't feel like it, if you act the part. Remember that attitude and willingness are large parts of being sexy. Poor self-esteem and a "void" in your life is terrible for marriage. Make sure you still have a fun and interesting life. If your husband left tomorrow, would you still have girlfriends you see at least once a month, hobby clubs you go to, sports you play? If not, your husband will always be working to fill a void he can't, and will feel inadequate and unhappy.
5. Express, don't accuse. Except in the rare event that your husband happens to be psychic, don't expect mind-reading powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don't drop hints or figure he'll "come around". Communicate calmly, clearly and directly. Relationships work best when each partner calmly express their current emotion without harping on what he has done. Frequently, a "I feel attacked" or "I feel sad" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, "Why?" Then simply say, "When you slammed the door, I felt ignored." Let "I feel" be your guide.
6. Don't expect the moon. He needs to keep trying, you need to keep trying, but neither of you is perfect. Unmet expectations tend to frustrate everyone. However, if you both keep working on your marriage, you will always be covered, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high or unrealistic, then set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be lavished with possessions and have the love of your life home for every meal. Should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled at some expense.
7. Pick your battles. Nagging and nitpicking can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for instance, don't nag about how to load the dishwasher "the right way". Let him do things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is important.
8. Accept him. Only by accepting him as he is, do you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you.
9. Dress pleasantly/attractively.If you are a home-maker,don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female.
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile, hug and kiss him.
11. Stay with him during hard time. He will need his wife to listen to him, comfort him and give him the strength. Don't be selfish.
taken from here
Let this be our guidance, insya Allah.
Can't wait to be married ;) , Bride #1